The Box

How did I get in here?
Why can't I get out?
I don't know how I got here.
That I know without a doubt.

I've found myself in this box
All sealed up with extra strength tape
I can't see anything
There is no way to escape


What you have just witnessed are the thoughts that run through my mind. I must admit that I was in denial before, but now I know that I am battling with postpartum depression. I am the mother of 3 beautiful children. I like to call them my mini-motivators. Lately they have been all that I have to keep me going. They give me a reason to get up and do more than I feel like doing.

After talking to several different people about the best solution for fighting this beast, I realize that one thing that works for me is talking about the things that I am feeling. It also helps when I take a moment to write about all of the things I am grateful for.Another thing that helps is to go to the gym and work up a sweat.

What are some of the techniques that you use to get out of your dark places?

I have visions of myself driving off to a place where I can just be
But it’s impossible to escape the person I am running from….Me
It is me telling me that this is too much to bear
It is me telling me that no one understands or cares
It is me telling me that I am not doing enough
It is me telling me that I have to stay tough
It is me …It is me…it has always been me
So what do I tell me to get through this dark place?
So what do I tell me to bring a smile back to my face?
Whatever I am telling myself now is only making things worse
So it’s time to make moves…time to change my course
Let the battle Begin…

The Tittie Terrorist

You are the only insurgent that I won’t turn in
Threat level on red
As much as I want to sleep as close to my husband as I can
You find a way every night to make your way to our bed
The Tittie Terrorist
Dropping bombs in the huggies
Snatching meals from my boobies
Kicking daddy with your booties
The Tittie Terrorist
Every morning a new list of demands
Slapping daddy with your backhand
Pulling big sis by her hair strands
The Tittie Terrorist
Toughest, sweetest baby that I know
More and more everyday she grows
The cutest terrorist around….. I suppose

Lonely Times

In my lonely times I have to remind myself to stay focused
but it gets tough
I try so hard to remind myself that there is nothing outside of this house that could bring me more joy than my husband and kids
But sometimes my thoughts drift off to places that God forbids
So that's when I drop everything and take some time to myself
and commune with the one person that I need to talk to the most

Thank you GOD for my family
and thank you for my health
Thank you for my hands
and thank you for growth

Far from who I used to be
but the journey is not at an end
I am asking you God to forever be my friend

Keep me from drifting off this course that you've designed
Keep me in my right state of mind
Keep me grounded
Keep me humble
Give me wisdom
Give me peace
Give me knowledge

I am in your hands GOD

Amen

Mommy's day

Its Midnight
Hubby is sleep
Big Sis is at peace
And you have just finished your last feeding

Its 3 am
Hubby is still sleep
Big Sis is at peace
again you are Eating

Its 7 am
Hubby awakes and preparing for work
Big Sis is crying for more sleep
You are cozy in our bed

Its 10 am
Hubby is at work
Big Sis is at school
You are awake waiting to be fed

Its 12 noon
Hubby is home for lunch
Big sis should be napping at school
You are playing with toys and trying to sit up

Its 2:00
Hubby is back at work
Big sis is preparing to come home
You are getting another meal before we pick your sister up

Its 5:00
Hubby is home
Big Sis is helping in the kitchen
You are playing in your swing watching mommy cook

Its 8:00
Hubby is on stage
Big sis in the tub
You are in your swing giving me dirty looks

Its 10:00
Hubby is texting
Big Sis is fighting sleep
You are laying in my lap looking at me

If someone were to ask me what I do all day
I would have to say
Thanking God for a beautiful family
and Sanity

Been a long time....but I am back :)

It's been a while, but having a baby will keep you more occupied than you would expect.
Anyway....Happy New Year! So to start off the new year, I want to fill you in on what I have in store for this year. I officially started my sister locs journey about a month ago, so I will be posting pictures, progress, and thoughts throughout my journey. I will also be posting more hair stories, more earring updates, as well as hair tips.....so stay tuned